Back to work ...

So today was the big day. My first day back to work and Russ' first day at daycare. Of course, I cried all the way to work but at least I only called the girls at the daycare twice to see how Russ was doing. This daycare thing has really turned out to be a blessing. I think things wouldn't have gone so well had we stayed at the other place. I hear the guy that bought the place has turned out to be a real jerk. He's the only baby at this new daycare too and that makes me feel really good. Toni, the daycare owner, held an open house yesterday and we got to go see the house. The master bedroom is set up as the infant room and with Russ being the only baby, he has lots of room to play!

Work went a lot better than I expected. Today was my first day to officially meet the girl that beat me out for the Director position. I met with her after lunch to be updated on all the new changes and 3.5 hours later, I found myself finally leaving her office. We were even able to talk about the position and all that occurred. I did cry with her but it was when I was thanking her for not coming to see me when I was there to have Russ. I told her whether it was intentional or she just got too busy to visit, I appreciated having been given some space to deal with the disappointment. I also felt comfortable enough with her to talk about my reasons for wanting the director position; I want out of fulltime patient care and I no longer want a Sunday-Thursday schedule. I knew that there was nothing that she could do for me but I felt that she needed to know where I was coming from. This job is going to take on a whole new perspective with now having a child of my own. Luis asked me just a few days ago, how I'm going to handle having to do handprints and footprints of dying babies ... and I'm still not sure. But it's a good thing that I did not start back to work yesterday. Let's just say it wasn't a good day for the PICU and I wouldn't have been able to handle it emotionally. So we'll see where all of this goes. God's didn't open up any other opportunities for me while I was away so he wants me there for something.